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Fortitude.<\/strong> \u00a0An old fashioned word we don’t often use much anymore, but perhaps one whose time has come again?<\/p>\n It is never giving up and is one of the 7 virtues taught within Christianity with origins in Greek philosophy including Stoicism which has attracted more interest in the last few years. In the first half of 2020 Penguin Random House publishers reported a nearly 750% increase in purchases linked to Stoic literature.<\/p>\n What does this have to do with right now?\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n The world is within a challenge unknown for a century. We are being restricted on a scale not experienced since the second world war. The impact is shaping up to be harsh, prolonged, and global. \u00a0 The situation is challenging, deeply uncomfortable, it is not what we want or what we have become used to in our on-demand way of living. For some the situation is emotionally painful and people feel scared, other are lashing out, some rebelling though most are remaining at home, \u2018hunkered\u2019 down. In the worst cases people become sick with a slow road to recovery. We will lose others. It is truly a time of pain and adversity.<\/p>\n Within the field of CBT\u00a0(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and, in particular REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy), fortitude is connected to the concept of frustration tolerance. \u00a0Frustration tolerance is our human ability to withstand challenge, difficult times, setbacks, uncomfortable emotions and not give up or give in.<\/p>\n When our frustration tolerance is low, we quickly become upset. We might withdraw or lash-out and resort to \u2018this isn\u2019t fair, I can\u2019t stand it\u2019 thinking. We seek to get out and get away from the situation which frustrates us or Low frustration Tolerance (LFT) can link to procrastination. It is one of the things which feeds our anxiety, depression, anger, and a range of other unhealthy, unhelpful emotions. \u00a0And it can result in unhealthy behaviour such as overindulging in food, alcohol, drugs and activities such as endless looking at the internet, watching of TV or even over-exercising, overworking. \u00a0Anything to take up time, get away from the frustration and the discomfort and help us to feel \u2013 temporary \u2013 relief.<\/p>\n Within CBT we know that it is not things, events or people that upset us, but what we believe<\/em> about them or how we perceive this (a concept from Stoicism). While this is slightly over-simplified, driving our unhelpful LFT thinking and actions are beliefs such as:<\/p>\n ‘This should not be happening to me’<\/em><\/p>\n ‘It is too much – I cannot stand’<\/em><\/p>\n ‘I must be able to do what I want – it is not fair otherwise’<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Underpinning these beliefs is demandingness<\/em> \u2013 must, should<\/em> about self, others or life. \u00a0Holding onto to these beliefs too strongly gets us into trouble emotionally and results in inflexibility finding solutions and takes us away from achieving our goals.<\/p>\n When our frustration tolerance is high, we do not become quickly frustrated. \u00a0We stay within uncomfortable situations longer to work with them in a constructive manner with emotions such as concern, annoyance, sadness and without resorting to overuse of drugs, alcohol, food, or other go to comforts. \u00a0We learn that uncomfortable situations even really difficult ones can be dealt with and we can tolerate them. And so, behind our helpful High Frustration Tolerance (HFT) thinking and actions are beliefs such as:<\/p>\n ‘What is happening is bad and uncomfortable and I wish it was not happening, but I cannot stop it and I CAN tolerate it’<\/em><\/p>\n ‘I would prefer to do what I want, but I cannot prevent the current situation from happening and I can tolerate it’<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n <\/p>\n Underpinning these beliefs is a preference-based<\/em> approach to self, others, life. Adopting these beliefs importantly acknowledges the reality of difficulty and builds flexibility towards achieving our goals. \u00a0This is NOT a philosophy about being passive or giving up, but accepting you cannot control everything and importantly you can stand – tolerate – sometimes immense discomfort or pain and sometimes over long periods of time. \u00a0Fortitude<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Indirectly, some of us learned this philosophy as children via sitting through \u2018wanting something bad\u2019 and having to wait or maybe sometimes not getting it, dealing with surging, uncomfortable emotions and working through them constructively. This builds helpful, healthy HFT and means we are more likely to take life\u2019s challenges and discomfort in stride. This is not to say it doesn\u2019t feel hard, difficult, challenging or even painful. \u00a0 Many of the clients I work with have not been taught this as children for many reasons, but it leads to destructive behaviours and unhelpful thinking. Today with our instant gratification culture we may have inadvertently painted ourselves into the LFT corner of life.<\/p>\n Being restricted and controlled especially in Western democratic nations is not within our belief systems. But being restricted, controlled for a few weeks or even a few months is within our ability to tolerate. Within the scale of our lives it is little time a few weeks or months and if it means our collective goal can be achieved it is a small price worth paying \u2013 uncomfortable though it is.<\/p>\n This situation is bad, I wish that\u00a0it was not happening,\u00a0and I don’t like it, but I\u00a0cannot\u00a0prevent it. \u00a0I can\u00a0show courage, determination\u00a0and I can tolerate the discomfort to work to find a way through it.<\/i><\/p>\n Integrating this belief into how we approach what is happening now is pragmatic, realistic and most importantly it is helpful to achieve what we need to and help us to thrive through change and chaos. It acknowledges the challenge, the pain, but that we have deep resources to work with and through this. Now can also be a time of reflection, creativity and connection to self or others – if we are in a HFT state of mind. \u00a0For some this can be easily done and for others it is a challenging ask.<\/p>\n However, our lives may depend on it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n<\/div>\n To learn more about building your fortitude and tolerance contact: Paul.noel@illuminate.co.com<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/3″][vc_widget_sidebar sidebar_id=”sidebar”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Fortitude. An old-fashioned word we don\u2019t use much anymore, but perhaps one whose time has come again? To learn more about building your fortitude and tolerance contact:Fortitude. It means courage and determination through pain or adversity and speaks of having to ‘grin and bear it’, to be with discomfort – sometimes immense, sometimes prolonged.<\/h5>\n
Returning to Fortitude – showing courage and determination in pain or adversity over time, I add the concept of high frustration tolerance.<\/h5>\n
\nFortitude. It means courage and determination through pain or adversity and speaks of having to \u2018grin and bear it\u2019, to be with discomfort \u2013 sometimes immense, sometimes prolonged. It is never giving up and is one of the 7 virtues taught within Christianity with origins in Greek philosophy including Stoicism which has attracted more interest in the last few years. In the first half of 2020 Penguin Random House publishers reported a nearly 750% increase in purchases linked to Stoic literature.
\nWhat does this have to do with right now?
\nThe world is within a challenge unknown for a century. We are being restricted on a scale not experienced since the second world war. The impact is shaping up to be harsh, prolonged, and global. The situation is challenging, deeply uncomfortable, it is not what we want or what we have become used to in our on-demand way of living. For some the situation is emotionally painful and people feel scared, other are lashing out, some rebelling though most are remaining at home, \u2018hunkered\u2019 down. In the worst cases people become sick with a slow road to recovery. We will lose others. It is truly a time of pain and adversity.
\nWithin the field of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and, in particular REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy), fortitude is connected to the concept of frustration tolerance. Frustration tolerance is our human ability to withstand challenge, difficult times, setbacks, uncomfortable emotions and not give up or give in.
\nWhen our frustration tolerance is low, we quickly become upset. We might withdraw or lash-out and resort to \u2018this isn\u2019t fair, I can\u2019t stand it\u2019 thinking. We seek to get out and get away from the situation which frustrates us or Low frustration Tolerance (LFT) can link to procrastination. It is one of the things which feeds our anxiety, depression, anger, and a range of other unhealthy, unhelpful emotions. And it can result in unhealthy behaviour such as overindulging in food, alcohol, drugs and activities such as endless looking at the internet, watching of TV or even over-exercising, overworking – Anything to take up time, get away from the frustration and the discomfort and help us to feel \u2013 temporary \u2013 relief.
\nWithin CBT we know that it is not things, events or people that upset us, but what we believe about them or how we perceive this (a concept from Stoicism). While this is slightly over-simplified, driving our unhelpful LFT thinking and actions are beliefs such as:
\n\u2022\tThis should not be happening to me
\n\u2022\tIt is too much – I cannot stand it
\n\u2022\tI must be able to do what I want \u2013 it is not fair otherwise
\nUnderpinning these beliefs is demandingness \u2013 must, should about self, others or life. Holding onto to these beliefs too strongly gets us into trouble emotionally and results in inflexibility finding solutions and takes us away from achieving our goals.
\nWhen our frustration tolerance is high, we do not become quickly frustrated. We stay within uncomfortable situations longer to work with them in a constructive manner with emotions such as concern, annoyance, sadness and without resorting to overuse of drugs, alcohol, food, or other go to comforts. We learn that uncomfortable situations even really difficult ones can be dealt with and we can tolerate them. And so, behind our helpful High Frustration Tolerance (HFT) thinking and actions are beliefs such as:
\n\u2022\tWhat is happening is bad and uncomfortable and I wish it was not happening, but I cannot stop it and I CAN tolerate it.
\n\u2022\tI would prefer to do what I want, but I cannot prevent the current situation from happening and I can tolerate it.
\nUnderpinning these beliefs is a preference-based approach to self, others, life. Adopting these beliefs importantly acknowledges the reality of difficulty and builds flexibility toward achieving our goals. This is NOT a philosophy about being passive or giving up, but accepting you cannot control everything and importantly you can stand \u2013 tolerate \u2013 sometimes immense discomfort or pain and sometimes over long periods of time. Fortitude.
\nIndirectly, some of us learned this philosophy as children via sitting through \u2018wanting something bad\u2019 and having to wait or maybe sometimes not getting it, dealing with surging, uncomfortable emotions and working through them constructively. This builds helpful, healthy HFT and means we are more likely to take life\u2019s challenges and discomfort in stride. This is not to say it doesn\u2019t feel hard, difficult, challenging or even painful. Many of the clients I work with have not been taught this as children for many reasons, but it leads to destructive behaviours and unhelpful thinking. Today with our instant gratification culture we may have inadvertently painted ourselves into the LFT corner of life.
\nBeing restricted and controlled especially in Western democratic nations is not within our belief systems. But being restricted, controlled for a few weeks or even a few months is within our ability to tolerate. Within the scale of our lives it is little time a few weeks or months and if it means our collective goal can be achieved it is a small price worth paying \u2013 uncomfortable though it is.
\nReturning to Fortitude – showing courage and determination in pain or adversity over time, I add the concept of high frustration tolerance.
\nThis situation is bad, I wish that it was not happening, and I don\u2019t like it, but I cannot prevent it. I can show courage, determination and I can tolerate the discomfort to work to find a way through it.
\nIntegrating this belief into how we approach what is happening now is pragmatic, realistic and most importantly it is helpful to achieve what we need to and help us to thrive through change and chaos. It acknowledges the challenge, the pain, but that we have deep resources to work with and through this. Now can also be a time of reflection, creativity and connection to self or others – if we are in a HFT state of mind. For some this can be easily done and for others it is a challenging ask.
\nHowever, our lives may depend on it. <\/p>\n
\nPaul.noel@illuminate.co.com <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":482,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-health","category-wellbeing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/447","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=447"}],"version-history":[{"count":33,"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/447\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":484,"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/447\/revisions\/484"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/482"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=447"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=447"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.illuminate.co.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=447"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}