Define your new normal

Define your new normal

Is there a post pandemic Freedom Day?   Will it ever be pre-March 2019 ‘normal’ again?  The answer seems to be no.  Some aspects of our lives are returning…and along with this the pressure to ‘do’ and get back to the way it was before.  But is that what you want?

Living in what we hope will be the last phase of the pandemic I reflect on the last year and my time.   Time spent on many simple activities – reading, playing games, cooking for ourselves, walking, being in nature, seeing a small number of people, not travelling, not rushing, taking time for kindness, being bored sometimes.  This time reminds me of my childhood of no computers, a black and white, 4-channel TV, no social media, no money to travel, eating out only very occasionally, no rushing, noticing the rhythm of days and seasons more keenly, finding creativity in boredom.  ‘Go find something to do’ my mother would say when I whined of nothing to do and no one to do it with particularly on long summer days.  And usually I did find something.  But sometimes I just lay in the hammock in the garden looking at the trees or I went exploring alone in the forest nearby – day-dreaming.  In short there was LESS – less running around, less keeping on top of things, less expectation, less pressure, less stress. But there was MORE too – more time, more patience, a more manageable pace, more creativity, more reflection, more space to just ‘be’.  Having it NOW wasn’t really an option.  Waiting for it was.

Working with clients I notice a lot of impatience with themselves, others and life in general and a reluctance to work with this feeling.  I-can’t-stand-it-ness is so prevalent and connected to a demandingness about how people believe things should or must be.  Our busy ‘have it now’ lives reinforce this. Part of the work I do is to help clients become more flexible, less frustrated, more tolerant of themselves and others, releasing control and excess of expectation.  This means sometimes slowing things down, learning patience and letting go of how you expect things to be to find other solutions.  It is about a philosophy of living in a more emotionally sustainable way.

And while I noticed myself in periods of anxiousness and despair over the last year there has been a connection to the simplicity and patience of my childhood that has really been a revelation. What if I could live more simply?  What if I could create more time to just be and explore?  What if I travelled and ate out a bit less?  What if I kept connected more to those I care for?  What if I could live more in the moment?  I can choose to take my time as I reconnect to life, but I am not sure I want my life to be as it was before.

During this last year what have you learned about yourself, how you live, how you want to be?

What can you continue?

What value might this approach bring to your life?

You can take your time.  You have choices.  You can define your new normal.

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